Learning To Be Still

When the world around us is in chaos and we’ve tried to do the right things to direct the ship away from impending doom, it’s better to board a life boat and let it carry you to shore.

This is the point I came to a few years ago. I couldn’t change the way things were, and there was nothing I could do to make things different.

Hanging in my home is a piece of art with the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God.” While that has always been one of my favorite bible verses, the events of the past few years have made it hit home in a very real way. I lost my mother in the late summer of 2023. She died just ten days after her 62nd birthday. And while life around me continued on, my world stopped.

I’ve always believed that things happen for a reason, but that is a tough thing to accept when bad things happen. It’s not easy, and it is sometimes an hour by hour walk to get through. There is life before my mother died, and life now. 19 years before, I felt the same way when I lost my paternal grandmother. There was life with Nana, and life after Nana. I am grateful that I have had been blessed with such strong women in my life to feel that “life before” and “life after”. I am also blessed that my maternal grandmother, soon to be 96 years old, is still living. She is the strongest person I know.

In late Summer of 2021, I felt led to step into the local politics. There were things going on in our country that I couldn’t ignore, and things still going on in my county that are unacceptable. I started attending local county business meetings and local party meetings to learn more about issues and educate myself.

Then, in April of 2022, it came to my attention the county was trying to force people to get rid of their backyard chickens. Little did I know that I would become a leader in that fight that went on for a very long year, and ended in April of 2023 as my mother went on hospice.

The most frustrating and deeply upsetting thing about watching my mother decline was not being able to do anything at all that made anything better for her. There was nothing that I could do. I couldn’t control a single factor of the events that were going on before, during, or after. And all of it was going on while I fought wars I hadn’t asked for, and had actually tried to stop before they started.

Time has went by in the blink of an eye, but during the thick of things, it has felt like decades. I still see the same problems. All around me the world is still chasing fires. Some fires are new, but many are old. The noise is loud.

At some juncture in our journey through life, we come to this point where we have to make a choice, to keep fighting chaos, or to stop engaging with the strife and remember who is in control.

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah”
Psalms 46:10-11

And that is where I am currently at, learning to be still.

There is a song that my Mom and I used to sing at church when I was growing up, and it has been on my mind a lot here lately. I want to share the lyrics below. It’s called “Learning to Lean” and was written by John Stallings:

1. The joy I cant explain filled my soul
   The day I made Jesus my king.
   His Blessed Holy Spirit is leading my way,
   He’s teaching and I’m learning to lean.
   Learning to lean,
   Learning to lean,
   I’m learning to lean on Jesus.
   Finding more power than I’ve ever dreamed,
   I’m learning to lean on Jesus.
2. Sad broken hearted, at an alter I knelt.
   I found peace that was so serene.
   And all that He asks is a child like trust,
   And a heart that is learning to lean
   Learning to lean,
   Learning to lean,
   I’m learning to lean on Jesus.
   Finding more power than I’ve ever dreamed,
   I’m learning to lean on Jesus.
3. There’s a glorious victory, each day now for me.
   I’ve found peace so serene.
   He helps me with each task, If I’ll only ask.
   Everyday now I’m learning to lean.
   Learning to lean,
   Learning to lean,
   I’m learning to lean on Jesus.
   Finding more power than I’ve ever dreamed,
   I’m learning to lean on Jesus.